So the other day I was thinking about my niece. Now I don’t
mean to gush but my niece is definitely the most beautiful girl on the planet,
hands down, no competition. And what makes her even MORE beautiful is her self-confidence.
You tell her she’s pretty she’ll say “Thanks, I know,” and not in a vain
spoiled way, just like yeah, I knew that already, but thanks for reminding me
way. I wish I had her self-confidence! A part of the reason she is the way she
is, is because she grew up in a positive environment, and another reason is her
attitude. She doesn’t let anything get her down, and I love that about her.
But here’s the thing, not all girls my niece’s age have that
confidence. Not all ADULTS do for that matter! I remember a few years ago I was
babysitting for a little girl, going into that “pre-teen” age, where you
actually think being a teenager is going to be cool and fun, and not the hell
that most of our teenage years were. We were watching a movie or playing a game
something like that, and out of the blue she looks at me and asks “How does it feel to be you?” At first I was stumped. What does she mean, how does
it feel to be me? Then it dawned on me, she was asking “how does it feel to be
fat?”
Okay, I’ve babysat a lot of kids, and there is the
occasional brat that points and laughs “hahaha you’re fat!” but this was not
that kind of instance. My heart broke in half at the look in this little girl
eyes, because she was not only asking if how I felt about being fat, she was
afraid she was going to be. I asked her what did she mean, and she looked uncomfortable.
I said that I like being me, I’m funny and smart, and have a lot of friends and
family that I love, but I knew that wasn’t the answer she was looking for. I
then told her that she was beautiful and she wasn’t fat and shouldn’t worry
about being fat. She didn’t go for it. The next time I came over to watch her
she had gotten one of those dance games where you put a mat on the floor and
watch the arrows on the screen and do what it says on the mat. I said “Oh that’s
a cool game!” and she said “Yeah it’s so I can maintain a healthy weight,” WHAT?
Why is this little girl who in fact is NOT overweight even THINKING about
weight. I know there is an obesity problem in this country and whatever, but
this girl was FINE. There was nothing wrong with her.
I didn’t know her mom well and never really saw her, but
from the mini gym in her garage and the food in her fridge I could tell that
she was a bit of a health freak, plus she was a nurse. And I’m not saying this
little girl problems came from her mother but I think things can be projected
on someone so young.
I think it’s SO important to have our children be in
POSITIVE environments, where they are free from worry and can just be kids! I
think everyone who has ever had body image issues, which is mostly everyone on
the planet, can pinpoint when their negative thoughts came to play. If it was a
bully at school, a magazine with models that no one looks like, a passing
comment between adults that don’t think you heard them, whatever, there’s a
root to every problem, and it more than likely starts when you’re a kid. And I
know there are other factors that go into low self-confidence, I’m not saying
it’s all about home environment, but I do think it does make a big impact.
I hope that one day soon she will figure out how incredible
she is and that she IS beautiful and is happy. That conversation has stuck with
me for years, and not because of the fact that she went to me for fat advice
but because she felt she needed too.
My blog is all about women feeling great about them, and
every woman can look back on the little girl she once was and relate to that
little girl. Let’s stop the insecurity and be proud of who we are ladies!
Because there is no other reason not to be happy to be you, because you are
perfect.
