To quote one of my favorite comedian’s Kathleen Madigan “I’m from St. Louis. It’s a cigarette smoking, hot dog eating, beer drinking town,” Now I am not a smoker or a beer drinker, but I do like my hot dogs. And my burgers, fries, cakes, cookies, I could go on and on. Now I am not an over eater, if I was I would tell you. I have no reason to lie, because I am writing this of my own free will and want people to know the truth about me. I am a let us say ‘plump’ woman. I hate the word fat, and that will be the last time you will hear me say that particular word. I have been ‘plump’ since I can remember. As a child other kids would call me that-not-so-nice word, and that’s who I thought I was. Pretty sucky to think that’s all you were. It took me a loooong time to not just think of myself as that word. I don’t like to toot my own horn, but there are MANY other things that can describe me as a person, not just that word. I feel good about who I am and maybe if you see me you would think “Geez, why?” and the answer to that question is simply: I am awesome. Get used to it people! Here is a voluptuous woman, who can look at herself in the mirror and not cringe away from my many stretch marks and my curvier body. I mean seriously, I think I am not THAT bad to look at, but some people might disagree. Or they may say that they “are worried about my health”. Okay listen I get it, I know that for my height and whatever I am waaaay over the healthy weight mark. I have gone to Weight Watchers, and I have read many books and articles about such an issue. Sometimes on my own account, sometimes slipped to me by a “concerned loved one”(such as when my grandmother gave me a book titled Think Thin Be Thin when I was about 13 for Valentine’s Day, instead of the traditional cards and chocolate, since quote “Amanda doesn’t need it,”). This again, doesn’t make you feel great. Oh and there were about million nights that I would pray to God that I would wake up thin and pretty like all the other girls, and in the those brief moments when I woke up in the morning, I would keep my eyes shut tightly and feel my stomach to see if my prayers came true (they didn’t by the way).
If I want your help or advice I will ask for it. I appreciate your concern, but I am fine. I love my curves. I love my clothes. I love me, and I know that seems impossible, or sounds self-centered, but it’s not. It took me awhile to figure myself out and be good with who I am, and I am not going to change that. I love that I can look on TV and see Melissa McCarthy in Mike & Molly, and in my opinion look totally gorgeous. One of the best actresses of all time, Kathy Bates, is on Harry’s Law kicking ass every night on Sunday, and is a plumpier woman. I love that my favorite singer, Adele, is curvy and doesn’t give a damn what other people think. It gives me hope that society will start accepting us ‘fuller bodied” women (and anyone else who has felt 'labeled') as the beautiful beings that we are.
And I do want to point out that I am not immune to insults about my weight. I hear them and they hurt, I am not made of stone (although some of my former class mates would disagree, I believe the term ‘boulder’ was thrown around once or twice), but I can get by them more than when I was say six. And now that I am not six, I will give anyone the finger who insults me or any other person, who isn’t normal, cause I know I am perfect, and that’s all that matters.
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